http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/22221267

Love -Friendships

Many friendships have been destroyed because of people who are disloyal , dishonest, and someone who neglects the relationship. To save the friendship- address it, admit it, ask what made it come to this,refuse to defend yourself, apologize even if ain't your fault,assume responsibility because you are willing to take the heat- this is called unconditional love( we all know in everything we do,we should do it in love)"

Questions for if you lived your life Fully

1)      If you were to fully live your life, what is the first change you would start to make?

2)      What areas of your life could be upgraded/ tweaked?

3)      What could we work on now that would make the biggest difference to your life ?

4)      What are you tolerating /putting up with ?

5)      What are you tolerating/putting up with?

6)      What do you want more of in your life? ( make a list )

7)      What do you want less of in your life?  ( make a list )

8)      What are three things you are doing regularly that don’t serve or support you?

9)      How could you make this goal more specific or measureable?

10)  What would be the biggest impact from achieving your goal(s)?

11)  What would you try now if you knew you could not fail?

12)  How can we make this something you’re aiming towards, rather than something you’re trying to move away from?

13)  What do you love?

14)  What do you hate?

15)  What’s one thing you would love to do to before you die ?

16)  Is now the right time for you to make a commitment to achieving these goals ?

17)  What could we work on right now that would really put a smile on your face?

18)  For your life to be perfect, what would you have to change?

19)  What do you really, really want?

20)  What’s one change you could make to your lifestyle that would give you more peace?

21)  What’s the first/next step?

22)  What research could you do to help you find the (or next) step?

23)  Who could you talk to who would illuminate this issue ?

24)  Who should you is hanging out with –so that achieving this goal becomes natural? ( i.e. who’s already doing it?)

25)  How can you get the knowledge/information you need?

26)  What are three actions you could take that would make sense this week?

27)  On a scale of 1-10, how excited to you feel about taking these actions?

28)  What would increase that score? (e.g. handle fear, clearer steps, more support, more fun)

29)  What would Tony Robbins do in this situation? What would “massive action” look like?

30)  What will happen (what is the cost) of not doing anything about this?

31)  What can you learn from this?

32)  In what way is the current situation absolutely perfect?

33)  How could you turn this around immediately, and enjoy the process?

34)  What in this situation can you find to be grateful for?

35)  What are you doing well? What can you do better?

36)   What’s one way you could have more fun in your life?

37)  If you were your own coach, what coaching would you give yourself right now?

38)  What is the value of your current attitude?

39)  What’s your favorite way of sabotaging yourself, and your goals?

40)  What should I say to you if I spot you doing this?

41)  What are three of your greatest strengths?

42)  What are you most excited about now? What are you looking forward to ?

43)  What’s one way to get more energy into your life?

44)  If your relationship was Ideal, what’s one thing that would be different?

45)  What would be your ideal career –if you could do anything?

46)  What’s one thing your life really about? What is your purpose?

47)  What is your life really about? What is your purpose?

48)  If you had to guess your life purpose (from looking at your life to date), what would it be?

49)  What would you like most be acknowledged for so far in your life?

50)  Who in your life should be acknowledged more? Would you like to acknowledge them for something today? 

When I first thought about going back to school, I thought about community college and how much of convenience but then a inconvenience to me since I have a husband, three kids and a fulltime job. My second choice was distance learning because I thought to myself how cool is that to be sitting at my concierge desk in the evening and when I have that little downtime, I can read an assignment or work on a paper for submission of an assignment. I also felt before being accepted in distant learning that it should be easy and convenient. I chose distant learning over traditional face to face learning environment because I wanted to have my own time to study and enter a classroom, speak to a teacher at any convenient time. Distant learning in my opinion cuts down on gas, or other transportation cost and distant learning allows me to learn in all types of bad weather. My views of distance learning have only changed one thing since I started school and that is the assignments that are needed to be done. I never imagined online classes will require a lot more dedication then the quote “it’s easy and convenient”. It is time dedicating and a schedule of my own personal time is definitely something I should put in place. Otherwise I do like and I feel that it is something that I will get use to doing and I will enjoy my learning experience towards my degree.

My Bio

My name is Cristella Tolliver. I was born in the United States in Fort Bragg, North Carolina in an Army Military family. When I was a small child, I lived in Germany for three years where my mother was stationed at. After we left Germany, we moved back here to the United States in Washington, D.C. where my mother married her husband who is know as my father today, since he raised me up with his last name and took care of me as a dad should. I have four siblings from my mother’s marriage with my dad, one who is one of my sisters and is now deceased. I have younger two brothers and one younger sister living. They are inspired by my every move. I am sure they will proud of me when they find out that I am back in a program that will allow to earn my degree online.

My interest is reading but not so much a fan of proofreading. I ask my coworkers on my job to assist me with that. My weaknesses are my writing, I have been told my writing is horrible but my strengths is I like to talk a lot more and correspond by email, IM  a lot more that usage of phone.

Currently I am married to my husband of 3 years, we were married with children. It has been quite a journey with him. He is one hundred percent supporting me in my decision of getting my degree and to accomplish my goals and landing a great career. My children are 8, 5 and 3. I have two boys and one daughter. I teach them about how much education is important and tell them that they can be anything they want if they put their mind to it and study on how to become it.

My inspiration comes from my spiritual faith. If I can see it, then I can believe it. If I acknowledge my weakness in something, then I can improve it as long as I have life.

My purpose for Writing

The ways that purpose, audience, tone and content for interpersonal and business communication are different because it just makes sense. The reason why it just makes sense to me is because when I first started writing email out to my colleagues knowing each of them through personal conversations, I was a bit confused in my writings and will send them information as I was talking to them with sense of humor, sometimes my writing sounded sarcastic and offended a few. I have learned that when I write to my colleagues in my company, professor or boss that I should always remember to address my audience so that I can prepare my tone. Also when writing business communication I should keep my tone formal and appropriate, and remember to proofread grammar errors, misspelled words, punctuations. The content must not sound bias in any way to offend male or female.

The difference in writing with interpersonal communication is I will acknowledge that the audience is to be written as If I were writing to my friend, peer, and sometimes family members. My purpose for writing interpersonal communication is to understand that my tone is informal and with as much grammatical errors as possible. When I type with my friends, I like add humor to everything I say and speak with sarcasm, and usually my friends type back the same way in return. 

My heart hurts

   I was  going through some files in my  computer and  just ran up  on this - its my poetry

My heart hearts

I can’t explain the feeling

But it just blow me

If you only hold me

My heart hurts

You say things

That does not make since to me

I mean I understand

I was no boastfully Christ server

Cause I had my own   blunder

Which mean I need to chill and not take a sunder?

You and I are a wonder when we decide to make love to one another

We always forgive another

Let’s not make each other suffer

You and I are apart physically 

You can’t always be with me

Cause they got me working evening

Did I know this how life would treat me?

Sometimes you have to laugh it say

Its funny

Cause even though we are away

We have nothing but trust

We are not going to rust

We are building precious jewels for the kingdom of Glory

Begin patience

Smile, laugh and let God heal the heart that hurts

Which we both know

That if its mine than its your because what is your is what is mine cause we are one according God’s son 

Francesca Battistelli - Free To Be Me (inspiring to me

 I love this song because it is inspiring. Listening to this song is like taking an Excedrin Extra Strength ....:) 




Sometimes I believe that I can do anything
Yet other times I think
I've got nothing good to bring
But You look at my heart and You tell me
That I've got all You seek, oh
And it's easy to believe even though




Cause I got a couple dents in my Fender
Got a couple rips in my jeans
Try to fit the pieces together
But perfection is my enemy
And on my own, I'm so clumsy
But on Your shoulders I can see

I got a couple dents in my Fender
Got a couple rips in my jeans
Try to fit the pieces together
But perfection is my enemy
And on my own, I'm so clumsy
But on Your shoulders I can see
I'm free to be me and You're free to be You  


you listen to  Francesa  

Letting Go of the negative/hateful words

 just  blogging  to let it  GO

 As you  know I was  called horrible by someone who used to work with me two years ago .    The  Truth was told and still remains the same -after she left  company  she never once spoke,confronted me, and said anything to me all while still living on the property.
So it is appearing to me that  she does not like me for her getting dismissed.
 I know what my  best friends   Hubby and others would say  right  now   " WHATEVER" 

She called me horrible and feels that best thing to do is ignore me and escape the  lobby  as long as I am there working.

that  hurt my  feelings but  I know to say whatever because this sounds so petty,I know that If I get fired from  a company it is because of  my actions not  anyone else.
and to be frank here , yes there are  threat or people who do not want to work with you  and when that is known and clear , my thoughts  to anyone is to  "GET IT TOGETHER on the JOB, abide company policies , follow through with everything so there is no LEGAL REASON to get  fired."

I am  just saying

 That sounds like horrible trait to live. To have hate against someone and the person never knew
 I was checking out the website with her houses she sell - the prices on her website are really  really  good.
So I thought wow she can help me and my family buy first home.
I did not  know she was ignoring me, I assumed the best for her. I really thought she was busy and could not  respond back in a professional manner.

That  message I got  back just  brought  back memories of what I could of possibly did to her.
Well she was working as an leasing consultant and she had issues with an another consultant.

there were  rules being  broken with company policies, so when Corporate got involved and did an full investigation....asking  all associate   Yay or Nay   questions. I was  honest because hey  they  were investigating everything ( camera footage included) I told the Truth to the company  higher ups because I have a paycheck that is coming  and I am thankful everyday for it .

She can think what she wants  and  say  :"cristella is an horrible person because of her  yays and nays"
which tells me  she would of wanted me to LIE
A person who has  a kind heart  is suppose to be a Lover of  Truth

Not  a person of  Hate  , so to add this although she say was kind to me , the kindness she had comes with  motives behind it.

That case with this individual is  It shows she  has a heart of bitterness, and hatred in her heart

All I can do is pray for her that she knows  Truth and the past stays behind her as she move on with her life


Forgiveness Breathes Life

I am confident  and know who I am in Christ , dusting self off ,and getting  back up

Love the power of  Friends

I have the  most powerful positive and  beautiful   network of  real Friends  whose words  to  me  was   "LET  IT  GO "

God Has My  Back -
and  that meant the  world to me -
 I have to stay Strong because I know
I am a wife,
mom,
sister,
friend,
 cousin,
aunt and
 most importantly I am not an enemy

 I  am  Loving my  enemies and I love self and those who love me back.
I understand now that the  reward comes in Loving those who do not love you back.
Smiling  and Letting go
because not  everyone will be a  friend to  me or have the best  words to say  about  me
and  of  course I am not a perfect person, and I know  that I did and I do  have flaws , I admit my wrongs and   I know  not  to blame others of my mistakes/wrongs  that  I made -  I take care of my faults and continue to  "Get back up and know that my  Father in Heaven Loves me and wants me to be the best and do my  best "

 I am happy that everyone who does  loves me,   and who  knows me and my  true intentions for being kind to people ,its who I am , its who I want to grow up  to always be  in this mean mean cold world all while following the  steps of  Christ .....

Mighty to Save - song that inspires me daily song by Laura Story

These are  notes from email I sent out  long ago from different sermons I  heard on Sunday at  TLC. 

 I sent emails out  to my  friends,contact, never got much  response to it. So Today  I will post all of my old things and  new things I wrote in  my  blog. My Blog is Open for the World to see because I may not  reach  a friend I know but something can catch a person who I do not  know but Our Father Knows :)

 

 

 

 

This one  was for  everyone even if it seemed it was a lesson geared for the men. I wrote a good number of points down in my journal.

Points I got from it that is just  WOW ( Words of Wisdom ) 

A real man does not have time for lip

Iron Sharpens Iron - Men and women should have mentors ( wise people with God spirit)  in their lives 

Rejections is what makes us a people loose fellowship with  members of the Body of Christ ( the Church is the people) we are to build each other up

When we offend one another, we learn to STAND and be secure , when  men ( and women go through something)  there is no  reason to  RUN AND HIDE 

JOB 2 : ¹⁰ He replied, "You are talking like a foolish  woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?" 
      In all this, Job did not sin in what he said.

Disorderly Conduct

This one blessed me so much.  I learned one Sunday from a sermon   to take  baby steps and  don't over load myself with so much information. Just  live it out ( heard that before - Lil  old  rebellious me - God loves me and  bring it on back home though someone .I know its God who loves me so. which is why  I have to love him with obedience.Oh what  a journey but its  worth it and I am taking this in each day and loving it . I am having more peace when speaking with my kids daily in bringing them with the words of Jesus attached to their hearts , praying that it sticks to them as they grow up. 

But yesterday  was week  2 of  Disorderly  Conduct.....It stabbed me in the heart spiritually ...ouch...

I am thanking God for grace because I see myself in the right environment, and right direction as I grow in this spiritual warfare.  I am applying this to my actions and just received a word from a friend that when I ask God for kindness,its my  job to take the first opportunity  in my kind. " Kindness has an outlet" 

Be encouraged and blessed 
 This was after  listening to   Week 2  Disorderly Conduct"

Most memorable folks I knew from back when-I thought their smiles said Friend-but no they unfriend on Fb-unfollow tweets,see me & neva speak

ever knew someone ,spoke to them , attended the same school ? went to the same church ?
caught up with them on a social network such as  FB or Twitter and then they  add you ,they may say  Hi ,give some conversation once or  twice but then times passed by and  Boom - they are no longer there on your list

yes alot of readers  may say  "come on now , People should not have to much time on their hands to think or  care  about old peeps  who  hits delete"

True but its amazes me how people can draw some beef because of your  positive energy or your speaking of  belief or having peace . Enjoying life and having fun with  old and new friends. I mean when you think about  why God created the World - he did add people to the world and I am sure his mission is for people to be happy  and Greatful

Oh well this blog sounds like a thought pattern of something I can not spend long on because Life does truly  move on . Friends come and they Go but Jesus is the  Friend that last always.

Peace

Stella

what I do with my time ? 
 For  7 years now I have been working the oddest shift for a mother and a wife. I work the mid shift as a 3-11 pm Concierge.  In the Beginning  I wanted  badly  and complained  terribly about working in the  day . well I have been through some challenges with manager writing up- each time I felt omg  The world is over . yes the write up hindered me from transferring or moving up. But when I spend time with Jesus. I see His words saying Be Still" . I never realized that I was so impatient for a long time. Sure I am  a quiet chilled keep it low type  of person but I can become over anxious in thing where God has placed me.

 I am learning daily to be become more  patient and knowing that God is Everything to me and He has my back.
I know that  my help comes from Him and I can speak up for up self in Truth, Grace and Love.
 I know that this body is not mine and I must take care of it as I am a King's  Kid. I cleansed my body, press every peice of clothing while walking around professionals who watches me daily to a T . No matter how my moods can get  rough, I know that  God loves me and I am Free in Him.
As I pay off Debts and get myself ready for financial Freedom I understand more clearly  now how much my giving is Loving. I am also  understand God wants me to invest in myself in relating my daily walk with Him and not  becoming some old  religious stiff. 
Religious stiff - just  go to church  every Sunday, pay tithes, offering and  really  tell myself that  will get me into heaven

I have learned  to speak kindly although we live in a mean mean world
God Loves me and you so  very much and He only wants the  very  BEST For  us.
God is wonderful
I am excited as I am on my day to day rejevenation,cleansing in this hour.
Its a bit difficult  for me not to turn on the  tv, and bust  out laughing at a repeated sitcom or some outrageously crazy reality.

God is here with me as I live out my promise to him in being the  Proverbs 31  Woman to my  husband and the mother  to my kids.

Its not easy , no one ever should say it is


Striving to perfectly love everyone is my challenge and a "I will do"

The She Speaks Conference is a life-changing conference for women seeking to step out in the passion God has placed on their heart. Hosted by Proverbs 31 Ministries, She Speaks encourages and equips women to

make the most of their messages, communicating God's Word through:    Please see a piece of my writing that I will like to take with me.

She Writes:

"just very encouraged by some of you write who write poetry , i just started to draft up some words of my own , Poetry is my favorite thing to read and I use to write back when I was like 13 but has slipped away
bare with me and give me your thoughts
I am working on some things as God give me the words to type
This is what I thought beauty meant to me as I was younger
I thought I was ugly cause my eyes were dark brown, my bottom and bosom weren't big and round
when I was a girl -I thought beauty was outer importance more than anything
so eager to straighten my hair,would sit in a chair and imagine everything
wondered if my skirt that appeared so long took away the beauty that I wanted others to see....if the skirt was shorter would people really like me , wished the hair was longer like the women on tv-my bosom was premature and undeveloped from age 13 to 16
wondered if I would see beauty because boys preferred to see booty instead of me ...so that left me wandering and desiring
what beauty should mean to me.
As i grew God began to show me that showing low self esteem was no good for me, i had to understand that character of a person is how you should see beauty and not worry about the outer parts that determined extreme reality tv

 This was written in  January  2011.

  Here are some basics of what I will be learning from basic writing guidelines to preparing an article or manuscript for submission,and everything in between. In addition, I will have  the opportunity to meet one-on-one with some of the top editors,publishers, and literary agents in the Christian market.

The Lord has laid it on my heart to attend She Speaks on July 20th -22 2012. My first step is to raise funds and have it submitted by May 15th 2012   . Will you prayerfully consider partnering with me through a financial contribution towards a scholarship?

As you feel led to join me in this exciting call, there are two ways to participate. 

Call Proverbs 31 Ministries at

877-731-4663 to contribute by credit card;

 or send a check payable to Proverbs 31 Ministries to:

Proverbs 31 Ministries

She Speaks Scholarship/Cristella Tolliver

616-G Matthews-Mint Hill Road

Matthews, NC 28105

Please be sure to designate the scholarship in my name in order to credit my scholarship fund. You will be

receipted for your tax-deductible donation. For more information: www.shespeaksconference.com

Feeling 30 - Enjoying and celebrating each day of Living

  Just  Shot of me because I am 30 
  thank  God I made it and I am getting better as I get older and wiser
So grateful for my living
learning more and more and important it is to take care of me so I can enjoy everything  the Creator brings at me