Martha I miss ya always

Today I am thinking of Martha my younger sis , she meant alot to me , my first lil sis , remembers when she came home from the hospital when she was born or the thought that wen through my head when I found out she would be a special needs child and we will pay careful attention to her development growth because of something called Down Syndrome...never knew that it was going to blow me and the time she turned 18 she was diagnosed with something called leukemia, my brother James and I knew to get to google and we found that other down syndrome children grew with it and the stories for their testimonies was it was harmony for them to know that their families with down syndrome had leukemia and lived but I had a hope , I said My lil sis will be ok ,she wont let nothing stop her cause she loved to rock back and forth to beautiful music that spoke about Jesus...She was our music dance fan, she helped us get into our music groove and rejoice with a dance no matter how the roads of life was going...

I thank Lord for bring her in my life cause she taught me about peace with Jesus and rejoicing in the Lord no matter what the storm that goes

I just ask the Lord for Peace because I am missing you little sis

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJzZU6MKQdk

I must keep Reading

I must keep reading

when I read I feel free

my kids begin to mock me

and find this love for words just like me

I love to read

I remember when I first begin to read

i must of red my first novel over and over

now that I am grown

i can't get enough of that self help book

with spirituality and knowing the difference between being religious with tradition and a true solid relationship with the Lord

Learning and yearning for scripture to feel up my soul and heart for every hole that is there , it needs to be filled with God's loving words for me to stay strong and to always hold on

I Miss ya

Today I am thinking of Martha my younger sis , she meant alot to me , my first lil sis , remember when she came home from the hospital when she was born or the thought that wen through my head when I found out she would be a special needs child and we will pay careful attention to her development growth because of something called Down Syndrome...never knew that it was going to blow me and the time she turned 18 she was diagnosed with something called leukemia, my brother James and I knew to get to google and we found that other down syndrome children grew with it and the stories for their testimonies was it was harmony for them to know that their families with down syndrome had leukemia and lived but I had a hope , I said My lil sis will be ok ,she wont let nothing stop her cause she loved to rock back and forth to beautiful music that spoke about Jesus...She was our music dance fan, she helped us get into our music groove and rejoice with a dance no matter how the roads of life was going...

I thank Lord for bring her in my life cause she taught me about peace with Jesus and rejoicing in the Lord no matter what the storm that goes

I just ask the Lord for Peace because I am missing you little sis

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJzZU6MKQdk

Beginning thoughts of me

just very encouraged by some of you write who write poetry , i just started to draft up some words of my own , Poetry is my favorite thing to read and I use to write back when I was like 13 but has slipped away
bare with me and give me your thoughts
I am working on some things as God give me the words to type
This is what I thought beauty meant to me as I was younger
I thought I was ugly cause my eyes were dark brown, my bottom and bosom weren't big and round
when I was a girl -I thought beauty was outer importance more than anything
so eager to straighten my hair,would sit in a chair and imagine everything
wondered if my skirt that appeared so long took away the beauty that I wanted others to see....if the skirt was shorter would people really like me , wished the hair was longer like the women on tv-my bosom was premature and undeveloped from age 13 to 16
wondered if I would see beauty because boys preferred to see booty instead of me ...so that left me wandering and desiring
what beauty should mean to me.
As i grew God began to show me that showing low self esteem was no good for me, i had to understand that character of a person is how you should see beauty and not worry about the outer parts that determined extreme reality tv